What to do now?

A couple months ago, the controller of my husband's company (also my friend) hired me to help out in the office, very part-time and temporarily.  They decided to make it permanent and offered me 30 hours/week (I guess I am just that good!!!).  The problem...I can't do 30 hours a week.  I was doing about 20 hours and they were all when the kiddos were in school.  It took no time away from being with my kids...at all.  I was pretty excited to do it but it has now ended and I am a bit sad. 

When I was a kid, people would ask (as they ask all kids) "what do you want to be when you grow up?".  Besides being a ridiculous question it's very hard to answer when you're a kid.  My answer though was always "I want to be my Mom".  It was simple.  I knew that would be my job.  I have wonderful memories of hanging out with my mom during summer when we were out of school, I always counted on her being there for me when I didn't feel good and wanted to come home from school, I loved watching her sew or having her teach me a new craft.  That seemed like the job for me.

Well I have been lucky enough to do just that.  The last job I had was in 1998.  I gave my notice when I was 4 months pregnant and have never looked back...until now.  My 3 kiddos are now 13, 10, and 8 and besides the 7th grade math homework (which I am just as bad at as when I was in school), I have enjoyed being there for them since the day they each graced my life.  The problem is they are gone 6 hours of each week day!  I got a good taste of being out their working once again and I liked it.  It felt good hanging with adults for a few hours, 3 days/week and getting paid for it.  It felt very rewarding (most of the time!).

So there in lies my conflict...I want to be a good/great mom and wife but I also need to fulfill my needs as a woman.  So what to do now?

Hmmm...this is going to take some major thinkin...


Well the world will keep spinning, I will ponder my life whilst anticipating more of these sweet Daffies popping up, here and there and everywhere (my tribute to Dr. Seuss...Happy Birthday)! 

this pic makes me laugh...it's almost like the 2 leaning over are saying "oh, you say we are too early? how embarrassing!" and the newbie standing tall is saying, "What?  What's wrong guys?  Where is everybody!"        Hahaha!  Just my silly humor!